Being Faithful With the Blessing of Children
Pastor Randy
Booth
Blessed is every one who fears the Lord, who walks in His ways. When you eat the labor of your hands, you
shall be happy, and it shall be well with you. Your wife shall be like a
fruitful vine in the very heart of your house, your children like olive plants
all around your table. Behold, thus shall the man be blessed who fears the Lord. (Psalm
128:1-4)
A piece of the truth, turned into whole cloth, can
produce some ugly garments. While it is
generally a good thing that a lot Christians have rediscovered the biblical
teaching concerning the blessing of having many children—“Happy is the man
that has his quiver full of them” (Ps. 127:5)—nevertheless, more is not always
better. “Better is a little with the
fear of the Lord, than great
treasure with trouble” (Prov. 15:16).
Shear quantity is not a replacement for quality, and “to whom much is
given, from him much will be required” (Luke 12:48). We do not want to be like the coupel who had
twin sons and jokingly said, “We gave them biblical names: Jacob and Satan.” It is essential that our children, regardless of how many we
have, become blessings and not curses to our households, the church and the
world.
When God called Abraham, and promised him great
blessings, including the promise to make him a blessing to the nations of the
world, it was a conditional promise (Gen. 12:1-3). God did not tell Abraham that He would bring
all these blessings to pass no matter what Abraham did, but rather God
predicated these blessings on Abraham’s faith, which was to be demonstrated by
his works. God reiterates his promise
to Abraham in Genesis 18 and then reveals the conditions for the promised
blessings: “…and all the nations of
the earth shall be blessed in him? For
I have known him, in order that he may command his children and his household
after him, that they keep the way of the Lord,
to do righteousness and justice, that the Lord
may bring to Abraham what He has spoken to him” (Gen. 18:18-19). If, and only if, Abraham faithfully
commanded his children and household to keep the way of the Lord, to do
righteousness and justice, would God make the children of Abraham a blessing to
the world. This conditional promise
is true for every household.
Simply being born into a covenant Christian household
has never been and never will be sufficient to secure the promised blessings of
God. So, what advantage is there to
being born in a covenant household? The
apostle Paul answers with a resounding, “Much in every way! Chiefly because to them were committed the
oracles of God” (Rom. 3:2). It is
no small advantage to be born into a family where the Bible is present. Yet there is a dramatic difference in having
the word of God in our households and in diligently teaching that word
to our children (Deut. 6:7). If you are
seriously ill, living in a hospital offers tremendous advantages. Yet, if the doctors and nurses in that
hospital are incompetent or lazy, and do not apply the available remedies to
the patient, the advantage has become a curse. When our children sin, and of
course they will sin, we must be ready and eager to apply the word of God to
them with all its power—to expose and root out the corruption as well as to
bring about the necessary healing remedy.
Nineteenth century American theologian, Robert L. Dabney expounds on
this point:
These
then are two facts which give so unspeakable a solemnity to the parent’s
relation to his children. He has conferred on them, unasked, the endowment of
an endless, responsible existence. He
has also been the instrument—if the unwilling, yet the sole instrument—of
conveying to this new existence the taint of original sin and guilt. Can the human mind conceive a motive more
tender, more dreadful, more urgent, prompting a parent to seek, for the beloved
souls he has poisoned, the aid of the great Physician?. . . .How can you O
Christian! Fail to bring your child to the great Physician of souls, to be
healed of the deadly contagion you have conveyed to him?[1]
God has provided us with some unhappy examples of
failures to keep covenant with Him. If we let
our children grow head-strong, and if we grow afraid of insisting that they
comply completely with our instruction, then we have abdicated in our
responsibility and have given them up to ruin—covenant curses are all that
remain. Do you remember the sad story
of Adonijah the son of Haggith? In 1
Kings 1:6 we read, “And his father had
not rebuked him at any time by saying, ‘Why have you done so?’…” God brought that spoiled son to an untimely
and a terrible end. And even in the
case of the priest Eli, we read: “In that
day I will perform against Eli all that I have spoken concerning his house,
from beginning to end. For I have told him that I will judge his house forever
for the iniquity which he knows, because his sons made themselves vile, and he
did not restrain them. And therefore I
have sworn to the house of Eli that the iniquity of Eli’s house shall not be
atoned for by sacrifice or offering forever” (1 Sam. 3:12-14).
God spoke through the prophet Malachi and chastised His
people who had become unfaithful in their duty and responsibility to produce
godly children. They were still
producing children, but not the right kind of children. Specifically, husbands were being unfaithful
to their wives and children and corrupting the covenant household. God warned the He would soon bring judgment
if His people did not repent:
Because the LORD has been witness between you and the wife of your
youth, with whom you have dealt treacherously; yet she is your companion and
your wife by covenant. But did He not
make them one, having a remnant of the Spirit?
And why one? He seeks godly offspring. Therefore take heed to your spirit, and let
none deal treacherously with the wife of his youth” (Mal.
2:14-15).
God then closes this last book of
the Old Testament with conditional promises of blessing and curse:
Remember the Law of Moses, My servant, which I commanded him in Horeb
for all Israel, with the statutes and judgments. Behold, I will send you Elijah the prophet before the coming of
the great and dreadful day of the Lord. And he will turn the hearts of the fathers
to the children, and the hearts of the children to their fathers, lest I come
and strike the earth with a curse” (Mal. 4:4-6).
If there is not repentance for
this covenant-breaking, God promises swift and severe and judgment―curses
on the individuals and upon the land, leaving them “neither root nor branch.” “…lest
I come and smite the land with a curse.” Notice also that the specific
requirement was to “Remember the law of
Moses My servant, even the statutes and ordinances which I commanded him in
Horeb for all Israel.” As Abraham was to command his children and household
to “command his children and his
household after him, that they keep the way of the Lord, to do righteousness
and justice.” So, we must understand that the law is the perfect expression of that very justice
and righteousness he was to teach. Joshua 1:8: “This book of the law shall not depart out of thy mouth…” Love for
God is expressed by keeping His law, as Jesus said, “If you love Me, keep My commandments” (John 14:15). It is not some vague or sentimental standard
that God requires when it comes to covenant household. It is His word, and His
word alone that is to provide the our instruction:
But you must continue in the things which you have learned and been
assured of, knowing from whom you have learned them, and that from childhood [infancy]
you have known the holy Scriptures, which
are able to make you wise for salvation through faith which is in Christ
Jesus. All Scripture is given by
inspiration of God and is profitable for doctrine, reproof, correction and
instruction in righteousness, that the man of God may be complete, thoroughly
equipped for every good work (2 Tim. 3:14-17).
In the opening of the New Testament (Luke 1:17) an angel
tells Zacharias that his son, John the Baptist, would be that prophet, Elijah,
who would “turn the hearts of the fathers
to the children.” It is clear that
household fidelity is at the heart of the work of the gospel. When men and women are converted to Christ,
the primary place where the power of the redemptive work should be seen is in
the restoration (i.e., redemption), of the covenant household. The family relationships are set in order
according to the pattern of God’s word.
Not only do fathers (and mothers as their husband’s covenant companion),
focus their affection and attention toward the godly raising of their children,
but also the children come to have their hearts affectionately directed toward
their godly parents.
At the very heart of God’s redemptive covenant [the Covenant
of Grace] is the relationship between fathers and their children. This is not a
footnote to God’s plan for His people. It is not only central to the immediate
work of God in the lives of individuals and families. It is vital to the long-term perpetuation of the kingdom of God
from generation to generation. And it is vital to a godly and healthy society.
Fathers turn their hearts toward their children when they
have their best interest, both physically and spiritually, as the highest
priority. In other words, by always seeking their good, even at their own
expense—becoming servants even as our Lord served His disciples, and
sacrificing to see them progress before God. This is an attitude that must
permeate the relationship—this is grace. It is seen not simply in following the
letter of the law i.e. performing some list of duties in a mechanical way, but
also by pouring our affection and showing genuine interest in their lives. When
we are driven by such unselfish motives so as to always seek their benefit at
every level, then we faithfully imitate our heavenly Father. We will know their
needs, and move to meet them even before they ask. Of course, seeking their
ultimate good involves making the word of God central in our life and
home (Deut. 6:6-9).
Father’s, our hearts are turned toward our children when we
recognize that our duty to God extends beyond ourselves and to our children and
our children’s children—when the vision of our own lives transcends the moment
and extends into the future. Fathers, more than any one else, have the
opportunity to change the world. We will know the ultimate covenant blessing in
this life when we see our children marry committed believers and establish new
covenant households and raise up our grandchildren to the glory of God.
Our hearts are turned toward our children when we fulfill
our duties toward them—teaching, training and disciplining them first, by our
words—teaching the Scriptures “diligently” to our children.
Fathers, do your children understand the theology of the family? Have you
taught them the Scriptures or do you leave that to the church? “My son, give attention to my words; incline your ear to my sayings”
(Prov. 4:20). Second, we teach, train and discipline our children by our
example—training them in righteousness—“train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not depart
from it” (Prov. 22:6); “For whom the
Lord loves He reproves, even as a
father, the son in whom he delights” (Prov. 3:12); “Hear, O sons, the instruction
of a father, and give attention that you may gain understanding” (Prov.
4:1); “My son, observe the commandment of your father…” (Prov.
6:20).
[1] Robert L. Dabney, Discussions, Vol. I, “Parental Responsibilities,” (Sprinkle Publications, Harrisonburg, VA: 1982), pp. 680-681.